THE FINAL CHAPTER!!!
EPISODES 49-52: Best Quotes

PART 49

“Did I just get a text message from iJustine? I did. I did. Jealous? Me too.” 2:59

YOUDONTUNDERSTANDYOUDONTUNDERS­TAND NONONONONONONONONUUUUUUU! 5:49

“AHH WHAT THE FFF WHAT THE FFF WHAT KIND OF A TAINTED NOTE WAS THAT WHAT KIND OF NOTE WAS THAT UGHH- *dramatic voice* Alexander became silent. He didn’t know that if he read that note he would freakin’ faint for no reason.” 0:56

“How do you get rid of red-OW MY BODY!” 4:10

Top comment:

“This has been kind of a safe, happy episode so far…”

NO WHY WOULD YOU TEMPT FATE LIKE THAT?

“-aghh, I’m dead, I’m dead! Why do I do that, every single time?”

Told you so. 6:56

PART 50

“I want to cut his head off and put it in a soundproof box. And then throw that box into a soundproof box- and then set that box on fire. And then kick that fiery box into a black hole- where the fire probably won’t continue, but I’m making a point here. I want to kill him.” 0:19

“Knock knock moe’suckra! How do you spell moe’suckra? M-O-E-apostrophe-S-U-C-K-R-A.” 0:52

“I’m a-grippin his head!” 1:30

“Alright Agrippa, just you and me. You are now my Boone. You are my slightly less masculine- slightly more creepy, if that’s even possible- Boone.” 1:39

PART 51

“And now, I merely await my death. ’You’ll be fine, dude!’ I am too weak to press on. ’N-n-o shh’ I can hardly stand as my knees fail me. ’Hey n-n-no shh shh shhh’ I cannot see as my eyes are dressed in tears. ’Get some coffee, man, get some coffee.’ I am broken as the men I have tortured. ‘I doubt that’s true.’ If only I could wipe my fear away as we did with them. ’Alright. That was a nice happy, friendly- OH MY GOD!’ ” 4:44

“What the f- What the sh- Holy sh- WHA WHOA WHAT! WHO! WHAT! Oh no.” 7:54

PART 52- GOOD ENDING

“Hey! Don’t you dare show me your stupid penore! Ugh, God, you’re so forward.” 1:32

“B-t-dubs, how can I fit Agrippa’s face in my pocket?” 1:55

My Overall Thoughts on the WHOLE THANG: Nelly! That was intense! I can’t believe I watched the scariest, most messed up thing I’ve ever heard of… TWICE. What is wrong with me? Oh wait. It’s Toby. WHY are you so freaking hilarious? And why do I sometimes think in your voice after watching your videos?

If you read all of my Amnesia posts, BLESS YOUR FACE TO INFINITY. I had fun… It was scary, yes, but I had fun… Tell me what you thought about the game! Leave a message in my ask box! :)

peace off! BOOP!

EPISODES 45-48: Best Quotes

PART 45

“Oh man. This game makes me- makes me smile on the inside. a  smile that looks a lot like me crying. And also sounds like it, and there’s tears involved and shame…” 0:28

“♫♪ Triangle man, triangle man, triangle man on a triangle man, they put him on a triangle man, now he’s dead. Singing a song about- that is morbid, probably shouldn’t sing a song about that, doesn’t make sense so don’t do it, nobody likes it, triangle man. Bunanana bunanana bunana NA NA nanana! ♪♫” 0:47

“Trapped in a terrifying game- VLOG. *monster growls* OH GOD OUTRO OUTRO” 6:32

PART 46

“I was almost scared there for a second! And then I was actually scared there for several seconds…” 1:51

“Not so scary when he’s not- OH GOD HE’S COMING TOWARDS ME!” 5:08

“Don’t you fall down there Daniel! You silly- You’re a silly little fruit!” 9:28

PART 47

3:04

3:15

6:46

http://tobyturnersaudience.tumblr.com/post/9812384475

8:59

PART 48

“Did I just get a text message from iJustine? I did. I did. Jealous? Me too.” 2:59

“YOUDONTUNDERSTANDYOUDONTUNDERS­TAND NONONONONONONONONUUUUUUU!” 5:49

My Thoughts: I love Toby’s relationship with Agrippa- it’s mostly yelling at him to shut up. Thanks tobyturnersaudience for the gifs- they are perfect.

EPISODES 41-44: Best Quotes

PART 41

“Knock knock moe’suckra! I was alreeady in there. Shooo.” 0:32

“Hey Get out of here dude. I’ll let you live if you go to the grocery store for me and pick up some of those chocolate covered raspberry pieces. Idk what they’re called but they are so good. They sell them at trader joes they’re like three dollars I’ll give you five, just keep the change. It’s like, $3.49 or something like that. Hey Hey I’m talking to you man what the hell! Oh that’s it. Oh I am about to- I am-you are making me- if you don’t say something about- OH THAT’S IT I CAN’T STAND- *picks up the knife* AAH! OH MAN! I am gonna-”  3:06

“Sorry dude. Green’s just not your color. MURDERED!” 4:12

“Frere jacques, murder him, on the table, he says please don’t kill me, you says but I have to, the game doesn’t give me an option. The game doesn’t give me a choice.” 6:16

“h-hey guys..? hello? it’s me… Tobuscus… and i’ve come here to say- OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD i’m getting the hell outta here, i don’t care, i don’t care -untranslated vomiting or something- see you in hell, see you in hell! from heaven!”

PART 42

“She’s [the iron maiden] a flasher! *gay voice* Heyyy! Just the left side!” 2:00

“Oooh jeopardy! I mean, Wheel of Fortune! Whatever that game show’s called- Wheel of Murder!” 5:40

“Audience- shh shh- I’m serious. Audience- Audience- no- no- N-N-NO! *continuous frightened noises” 8:35

PART 43

“Oh my god he is SUCH an idiot! Dud I literally- I said don’t look over here and you’re like, OK. I’m an idiot. Oh man you have a tiny little baby brain dude! Oh my god I should stop calling you a dude because I am not a surfer and you are not a freakin- you are not someone I want to hang out with with, man. *Find her!* Shut the hell up dude- I mean man. Shut the hell up. Ah no no no bad sound x4 n-n-no MANANANA I DON’T WANNA x4 MANANA *indistinguishable* no stop it x2 AAH NOO! I don’t wanna! Oh man I’m screwed x1million Jump! *jumps off bridge and dies* Aah! Safety!” 1:22

Toby: What!? Boone, go check it out!

*throws Boone down hole*

*monster BLAAAAAAAKLSDFILSJDD >:O*

Toby: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!!!!! 4:57

PART 44

“This is actually what my house looks like, so it feels a little cozy to me. Comfy comfy! I like dungeon theme.” 3:19

“I must remove myself from this land BLA BLA BLAH. BLAH. I wish that’s actually what was written. BLABLABLABLA. End of message.” 9:08

My Thoughts: SO MANY FREAKIN’ QUOTES! SO FREAKIN’ SCARY! And SO messed up. Blargablargablarg. *Toby vomit noise*

I’m going to start doing four episodes a day until Halloween so I can finish the series in time :) Also I had to redo this post because I lost it, so I might have missed some good quotes :(

EPISODES 37-40: Best Quotes

PART 37

“Knock knock moe’suckra! OH GOD JUST KIDDING” 6:22

“Oh God… Oh God… N-NO TAKE THE HAND!” 10:06

PART 38

“This is all going to go according to plan. The plan is… I’m dead. There is no plan. I lied.” 0:58

“All the other monster kids are going to make fun of you at school when they’re like ‘Oh he got distracted by a freaking rock, and then a guy was think They Might Be Giants, and he didn’t know, was it a rock or a person singing They Might Be Giants?’ Where the hell did he go? Stupid monster… *drops rock* OH GOD OH GOD NNNO HEY! *gets killed*”4:29

“THIS ROCK IS MY BOONE” 8:54

PART 39

“Gonna go down the safe stairway with my trusty rock Boone- BOONE! COME HITHER!” 3:12

“Boone, forgive me in advance if I throw you to distract a monster.” 5:15

PART 40

“Shut UP! Naked people never know when to shut! Never know when to qui- ooh! I love moldy bread!” 1:16

“Agrippa! Get a grippa, man!” 5:05

“It’s my Boone bowl! You’ve got bowls, man!” 5:32

My Thoughts: Wow this is classic… I love how Toby responds to everything Agrippa says for a while until he starts talking too much, and then he just throws things at him. This is probably the most Toby ever gets killed in succession, too, which gives me several heart attacks. AND ALSO MY NAMESAKE IS MENTIONED… BOOOONE! The rock, the bread, and the bowl. Ahahaha.

EPISODES 34-36: Best Quotes

PART 34

“I have the biggest brain out of ANYONE I know. I didn’t look that up on the internet, I’m telling you. I’m using my gigantic brain.” 0:50

“Is that a piggy? Is there a piggy squealing? Oh sweet God, what is that piggy squealy noise? Oh maaan, that is NOT kosher.” 3:29

“Oh snap. Is my neighbor banging on the wall? My neighbor’s banging on the wall! I guess it’s time to pause it. It’s been fun running around in these sewers with you, Audience.” 10:18

PART 35

“What about dead women? Are there any dead women? Preferably not dead, but hot, and alive, and easy. Alright, maybe that’s a little bit too much too soon.” 2:03

 2:30

“Knock knock- OH MY GOD…” 6:07

“This game is ridiculous- and not without the second syllable of the word ridiculous!” 7:05

PART 36

“BE A MANIEL, DANIEL.” 2:06

“Nelly! I own ALL of your albums…. *whispers* I don’t own any of his albums…audience. That’s just for you to know audience.” 3:41

“Son of a gun on my face! The child, the firstborn child of a gun. Son of a gun. What is with that expression?” 4:15

My Thoughts: Euurrgh that part with the drill was GROSS. This game really is disgusting… But it’s a lot less scary the second time. But I still have to minimize and cover my eyes when I hear a monster.

EPISODES 31-33: Best Quotes

PART 31

“One small step for Toby… one much much smaller step for the Audience… and for his dignity.” 4:25

“Am I right or am I white? Don’t you ever use that expression.” 4:38

“Knock knock moe’suckra.” 5:20

PART 32

Alexander: Daniel? Is that you?

Toby: Wha- yes!

Alexander: What are you doing?

Toby: I’m turning the whosy-whatsits, man! 2:18

“Your destiny is to be… an absolute FAILURE!” 6:35

“After I eat food I feel pretty powerful. I could just do some push ups… but I would never do that because that’s exercise.” 10:10

PART 33

“This is not Assassin’s Creed, Daniel. You’re not jumping building to building like a building baggins… what am I saying?” 1:16

“I need a bow and arrow on which I will pour acid. And that acid will, in turn, burn through that freakin’ rusty chain, baby. That’s my story.” 4:03

“I’ve got to time it just perf- OH GOD MY BALLS!” 8:07

“Sorry, Daniel. You are now Danielle. Welcome to the world of women.” 8:29

My Thoughts: These episodes are the non-scary puzzle ones. Which means that I REPEATEDLY FACEPALM as Toby fails to see the obvious, but I smile and laugh as I do so. This game explains why I wanted the Tumblr username of moesuckra, BUT ALAS, it was already taken. >.>

EPISODES 28-30: Best Quotes

PART 28

“I was in a prairie, everything was great. I was playing catch with my dad, and then I realized HE WAS ACTUALLY A ZOMBIE AND HE TRIED TO EAT MY FACE OFF. And I was all Aww this sucks.” 0:07

“RUN DUDE! RUN FASTER! RUN LIKE THE FREAKIN’ WIND THAT IS BREATHING IN THE FORM OF A MURDER!” 2:10

“Aha! Oil! That’s his lubrication. He totally plays with himself. Monsterb-” 8:13

PART 29

“Who am I, really. When it comes down to it. Who are any of us? God this is deep. *monster growls* OHMYGOD I’M DEAD.” 4:07

“And that’s the good thing, after this, real life is not gonna be scary at all. You know? I’m totally taking candy from strangers after this.” 7:35

“Steven, blur this out. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.” 9:43

PART 30

”” Daniel: ‘She deserved it that little bitch!’

   Toby: ‘Hey don’t you talk about that little… girl like that! Douche!’ ” 4:07

“That cutscene might have just killed me- I mean, us. You guys are totally in on this.” 5:25

“All this being terrified has made want to cuddle up with a teddy bear… a human sized teddy bear that’s not, you know, bleeding or anything or leaning over a bed naked.” 9:02

My Thoughts: I lost internet connection and had to rewrite this entire post. Balls. Anyways. The game is very suspenseful now, with more MONSTERS! Toby’s fear is very apparent, and so it gets funnier.

EPISODES 25-27: Best Quotes

PART 25

“Oh no, that 80 singer’s crying again… Someone needs to tell him to shut up, he’s not popular anymore…” 1:04

“Let’s tell scary stories. No let’s tell happy stories… So I went on a picnic once. I had a sandwich… and then there was a monster and he killed everyone! No no no. Take that part out… And the sun was high in the sky and it was wonderful and the air tasted great, like safety…” 2:05

“Good job, rats. Perfect diversion!” 8:29

PART 26

“I was already here. I’m fine. I’m fine! That means there’s no more m-” *GROOOWWL!!* “OH JESUS.” 2:44

“I’m gonna get murdered faster than you could say marmalade.” 6:22

“Whores…there are not whores down there, this would be a whole different game.” 9:15

PART 27

“I love the feng shui of this place, the way the rocks are all laid out and stuff, very nice, very relaxing.” 3:56

“Oh the kitchen! That’s where the women are.” 5:06

(Top comments:)

Imagine if Toby was one of the guys who found and killed Osama bin laden: “knock knock moe’suckra!!”

Remember, everyone, to take your daily supplements: Vitamin A, Iron, Calcium, and most important… VITAMIN DEATH ¯\(ºдಠ)/¯ 8:55

My Thoughts: HOLY COW the ending of that last one… I pressed Esc like crazy! I’m such a girly wimpy girl. I read the comments when I’m scared. It doesn’t help that I’m playing it in the dark at night with headphones. Thanks, Frictional Games.

EPISODES 22-24: Best Quotes

PART 22

“Oh yeah! I’m gonna break whatever I can! I’m gonna break things and stuff! Both of those!” 0:41

” ‘Tread carefully?’ I wish that said ‘Don’t jump off the ledge for no reason.’ ” 5:55

“Someone asked why I always go ‘guh’ and go ‘Oh god.’ It’s because it’s scary. And that’s my ‘I’m scared’ sound.” 6:43

PART 23

“AHH AND IT LOOKS LIKE INVOLVES MATH…”  0:23

“Knock knock moe’suckra! Just kidding. I didn’t knock. I’m dead. I’m screwed.” 3:09

“Hallelujah! Wait, that’s copyrighted. Don’t wanna get sued.” 8:05

“Do I get a prize? Maybe a lolly? Maybe a poisonous- Can I NOT be tortured? Is that my prize? That’d be great.” 8:58

PART 24

“Any stupid monsters up ahead? Lemme guess. Yes. *pulsating blob appears* Oh oh pfft surprise surprise. Freakin instantaneously growing pulsating organic balls.” 0:36

“Alright I’ll just head over to…Okey doke not yet any second… Just head on out this d-okay, not that one, okay… You know what, you know what… 2:38

Alexander: This is where prisoners are locked up.

Daniel: Like a dungeon?

Toby: Like a video game? 3:53

My Thoughts: I knew as SOON as I saw a precarious ledge Toby would fall off it. It’s like the green acid pit in Batman. Also, I guess I accidentally skipped Part 22 last time- and that’s why I was soooo confused when he did the lever puzzle cause usually I can figure things out faster than Toby can… For instance when he couldn’t figure out TRINITY went in the triangle, FOUR went in the square, and CYCLE went in the circle… FACEPALMS TO BE HAD.

EPISODES 19-21: Best Quotes

PART 19

*hits machine viciously with a hammer* “Is that better? Let’s do it now. Eh? NOTHING! I could have sworn that would’ve fixed it!”2:32

“Okay I’m gonna get in here safely and wedge myself in these pieces.” 2:44

“Oooh I see! Just kidding. That was a fake oh.” 5:12

PART 20

“I know, your life sucks, I know. A monster needs to come out and kill me right now. I’m being a total drag to that lady. She does not deserve that kind of treatment. She deserves a spa treatment- 50% off. And I know people.” 4:00

“There are some monsters that probably heard that that are going to come and break my kneecaps, probably in the monster mafia.” 6:30

“Oh my god” (repeat about 30x to a popular orchestral piece from the past) 7:52

EPISODES 16-18 Best Quotes

PART 16

“Okay so if anyone else comes in here they’ll know that somebody with the desire to just, complete statues… with skulls… okay man, gross… ” 0:41

” ‘To my most trusted student and friend John Mayer. The most remarkable thing happened-’ Haha just kidding. JOHANN WEYER. FINE.” 3:14

“Is someone chewing on… Audience, are you chewing on metal? That’s probably not good for your teeth.” 9:18

PART 17

“Hello? Is there anyone down here that sucks?” 1:25

*picks up bone and whacks it against door* “KNOCK KNOCK MOE’SUCKRA. YEAAAH. WHAT IT IS. WHO’S SCARED NOW, HUH? Still me.” 2:30

“Hello? Anyone? Bilbo Baggins? Are you in here? Bilbo… Bilbo? Bilbert?” 5:32

PART 18

“Hello? Anybody up he-uh? Still no. Still a resounding no of silence.” 3:49

*jumps off ledge on accident* “OOF! My face! Oof!” 6:25

” ‘He panted AGAIN heavily AGAIN, trying his best AGAIN to keep himself AGAIN from screaming AGAIN. The medicine cabinet AGAIN had been overturned and lay collapsed AGAIN on the floor. He searched through AGAIN the broken glass and grabbed all the sedatives AGAIN he could find AGAIN.’ “7:58

“My name is Turner. I turn things.” 8:29

“Herbert *snort*” 8:42

My Thoughts: These are getting steadily scarier. If not for Toby, I would have stopped watching out of fear about ten episodes ago. Or not watched it at all.

EPISODES 13-15: Best Quotes

PART 13

“Hollow needle! Perfect! So I can inject myself with some sedative and calm the hell down.” 3:23

“Hothothothot…. I’m just kidding, that’s gross.” 6:40

“Herbert… *snort*” 8:38, 9:06, 9:12

PART 14

“Herbert… *snort* 0:45, 1:08, 1:24, 1:41

“Drawring… Why do I say drawing like there’s another r in the word, but there’s not, it’s just drawing, but I say draw-ring. It’s like a ring… That’s being drawn… Have you seen the movie The Ring? It’s pretty creepy also.” 1:59

“Audience, shut the hell up. Good god audience, are you trying to get me killed? Are you serious?” 6:55

PART 15

“WHOA! Did I anger the ghosts? Did I just teleport the frame into another dimension?” 1:40

“The cross of Jesus… I’m gonna ward off people with Jesus.” 3:45

“What’s up dog? HAHAHAHA that wasn’t funny at all.” 5:17

“In case of emergency break glass… And steal eagle. *CRASH* YEEEEAH!” 5:35

“Well at least your death wasn’t in vain. Yes it was. It was totally in vain. I’m sorry.” 6:29

My Thoughts: Even though 13 was scary, and the dog part was disturbing, these were by far the funniest episodes so far… I mean, Herbert? And the slug fight? Priceless.

EPISODES 10-12

BEST QUOTES

PART 10

“I’m gonna look at the light like a mosquito and get some of my balls back” 4:06 

“Oh sweet good lord of, oh god, cornflakes, oh monkey, flaky corn deliciousness…” 5:37 

“Alright, it’s like the 1800’s. Why am I scared of this, we had like, witches back then…” 6:35 

PART 11

(ths was top comment) *Smashes bottles* ” I am not being quiet” *throws barrel and breaks another bottle* “I am NOT being quiet!” 0:55

“Knock knock moe’suckra” (FIRST EVER?) 1:25 

“And knowing… is something about a battle.” 9:35 

PART 12 (a.k.a. the part I lose my balls)

“I haven’t died yet. I’m sure that’s not impressive at all, but uh… I just want to find something to be optimistic about.” 1:55

“Okay, let’s go down this meat slide! That’s convenient… and gross.” 2:43

“Hey, uh, do you wanna read something? It’s Stephen King, probably not as scary as you are, but uh, give it a shot…” 5:56 

My Thoughts: Aaaaarghabalaagarg I am still breathing heavily… This part, Part 12, was where I quit the first time through. There’s just something about a blind monster waiting to kill you underwater in a dark tunnel with murderous red slime covering the walls. If not for Toby’s voice I would have peed myself. It doesn’t help that I’ve had an irrational fear of drowning since the age of 8, I’m claustrophobic, there’s a thunderstorm outside, and it’s nighttime.. WHY AM I DOING THIS??? Oh yeah. The Audience. And cause it’s Tobuscus.

Episodes 7-9

BEST QUOTES

PART 7

“What? This fire’s not light enough for me to not be crazy?” 5:25

“GET OFF MY LENS! GET OFF LENS! That is rude… I will swat myself in the eye, i don’t even care!” 7:29

“Sucks for you, bad guy, I just found a wall of DEATH!” 8:46

PART 8

“This game is like cake, it’s like walking- it’s like popping out of a cake at a wedding, and you’re like ‘Surprise! It’s chocolate.’ And you hate chocolate. And it’s poisonous. And you shouldn’t eat it, but you’re gonna eat it, because it’s your wedding.” 0:30

“WHO’S got some tinder!? WHO? WHO? ME!” 3:56

“Damn. That. Is. Nasty.” 6:36

PART 9

“I am gonna saw this wood like nobody’s business! It is none of your business- I just ate an egg sandwich.” 2:36

“You still down there, whatever you are, splashy-splash?” 4:40

“I AM A HUGE FAN OF ACID POT!” 7:59

My Thoughts: I don’t even remember these episodes!! Did I skip them out of fear? I love Toby’s maniacal evil scientist laugh, too :)

Episodes 4-6

Best Quotes:

PART 4

“Whoa! Whoa! Hey! No. No. No! I will tinder like NOBODY’S business!” 7:06

“What is that beautiful music? Who is playing-Who is so talented? Is that Tchaikovsky? Oh man. That’s beautiful.” 7:35

“Get over there! With the rest of you, your kind! You’re not welcome here, box! Your kind is NOT welcome here!” 8:20

PART 5

“Was that Chewbacca?” 1:38

“What the bloody…uh oh… *looks at ground slugs* “Did you have something to do with that?” 1:58

“I just inked everywhere.” 3:53

Part 6

“Aah, the key to the wi- OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD shh shh shh *hides in closet” 5:45

“I changed accent about here and became a douchebag. Well alright I started out as a douchebag also.” 7:07

“Break the ink… for bonus points… Into the fireplace!” 7:14

My Thoughts: These were definitely story episodes, but it was very interesting for me because I actually understood the backstory this time. It’s so creepy. Toby is a great narrator, also.

If you have awesome quotes, or if you can think of anything I could add to Amnesia with Audience, leave them in my ask box PLEEEASE :)