Do not waste your life idolizing someone you hardly know, like a celebrity or a YouTube star, because if you fall into that trap you will be crushed when you discover they are not who they appear to be on screen.
I gained thousands of followers by posting shit that had his face and words plastered all over it, and I thought the attention was great. I finally found an output for all of my hidden creative energy I didn’t show around other people. But it was a shallow and empty way for me to portray myself, and I couldn’t develop as a person in the time I needed it most: high school.
Not only was that happening, but on the other side of the screen my idol was slowly becoming a tool of the media. He sold out and changed drastically due to his fame before my eyes. All the good morals and happiness that he stood for were replaced by slogans and money making catchphrases.
The fanbase was what ruined me. Unstable Internet addicts gushed over him and acted like he was their one true salvation. I didn’t quite succumb to that but I did begin to rely on him for my only happiness. My real life sucked so why not live on the Internet? I wondered.
Everything ended through Facebook. I messaged my idol and asked him why he changed and told him he wasn’t the same to me anymore . To my surprise, he ANSWERED. In length. He told me he was an actor. He’s not the same person as he appears to be and he doesn’t act the same way he does on screen with anyone. I hurt my idol’s feelings in fact… Or so he told me. He doesn’t communicate over Facebook anymore after the long, deep conversation we had. Around that same time he broke up with his girlfriend, although I doubt that had anything to do with me. (What if!? I was majorly affected by what I saw on MY computer.)
I learned, painfully, that you can’t grow up on a screen. You have to get off your ass and take on the world. It’s not worth your time obsessing over someone you don’t know. You need to see the world how it really is, even if it is cruel. Don’t let your poor self image get in the way of living your life by staring at pixels instead of a mirror. Face yourself and don’t waste your life.